Esmé Ying Loke O’Connor

A film that could have been made, 2020

Digital

A film that could have been made, 2020

Digital

Under My Skin, 2020

Leather, wire, ink
36 in x 24 in

Under My Skin, 2020

Leather, wire, ink
36 in x 24 in

Under My Skin, 2020

Leather, wire, ink
36 in x 24 in

Under My Skin, 2020

Leather, wire, ink
36 in x 24 in

Artist Statement

My work is centred around the body, my body, a queer body, a daydream in the binary of heterosexual society. My work is centred around finding beauty in the mundane and inserting myself into those spaces, spaces I have inquisitively watched my entire life. I am drawn into the textures of the materials as they call out to me. In particular, I favour super 8 film, as it falls poetically at your feet and screams, “I am beautiful, look at me. I demand to be filmed”. I find comfort in the processes of making; processes in which the logic of the mechanism and mechanics can be learnt by following patterns and listening to how the materials react intuitively. In addition to film, the act of screen printing has given me the option to relish in that found comfort, the layers, the structures, and the building of visual information to form clarity.

Permanency is the thread that stitches the body of my work together. When one considers the idea of permanence, one considers the idea of change. To create or destroy a part of something, to illustrate the ways you’ve been hurt or embody the vision of difference. I find myself fixated on imagery that understands the dichotomy of the pain and pleasure found from practices such as tattooing, a way to choose a body you gave no consent to own. Excuse me, Sir, I never purchased this flesh I’d like a refund, please.

A way to fully accept ideas of ownership, identity and self in a world where what is indoctrination and what is true faith may never be discovered. I focus on questioning my desires and fantasies, using symbols found in the public unconscious to present the quiet violence inflicted on the heard.